The Time Vault of Ridiculous News

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM or Spaghedeity) to the right is a real religion founded in 2005 by Oregon State University physics graduate Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution.

He has, in fact, wrote a letter to the board of education (read it here) and started a movement, overall ridiculously entertaining, to counter and mock the concept of intelligent design, claiming that the supernatural FSM is the ultimate creator of life. With its rising popularity and plenty of devout worshipers, the Church of the FSM is now a legitimate religion.

I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Henderson stated in his essay.

It is believed that the FSM created everything after drinking heavily. So, logically, the heaven of this religion resides in beer and strippers. There is also a gospel of the FSM, which, replacing the "10 Commandments," contains the following,

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass, my mother, when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go fuck yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

All I can say is, this guy must have had tons of time on his hands.


The above is the original drawing by the founder. The appearance of the monster suggests a tinge of sexually. I'm not sure if that's related to the actual cause or just another joke.

If you wish to learn more about FSM or start worshiping now, here's the link to their online church -> http://www.venganza.org/

For everything else, there's wiki.

By the way, here's the latest news on FSM.

In November, 2007, three talks involving the Flying Spaghetti Monster are scheduled to be delivered at the American Academy of Religion's annual meeting in San Diego. The talks include titles such as, "Holy Pasta and Authentic Sauce: The Flying Spaghetti Monster's Messy Implications for Theorizing Religion". Academics say while its inclusion in the program may get laughs it is a serious debate on the essence of religion exploring questions such as "does religion require a genuine theological belief or simply a set of rituals and a community joining together as a way of signaling their cultural alliances to others?" or in short, "is an anti-religion like Flying Spaghetti Monsterism actually a religion?"